Fallen From Grace
by LittleRedHatter
Summary: a winglock fic. Sherlock POV. Johnlock. post-reichenbach. Sherlock falls and returns, but there is a price to pay


**Fallen from Grace**

"_I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for a second that I'm one of them."_

My fall. I was terrified. I had no idea why. It wasn't like I would actually die. But I was scared. My tears stained my face. Every emotion went wild throughout my body as my foot veered on the edge of the building. I could see John on the streets below. He was just as terrified as I was.

"Goodbye John."

And then I fell. Falling is just like flying, but only with a more permanent destination. The wind swept at my face as the ground came closer and closer. And then my head hit the pavement. I blacked out for only a mere second. I wasn't like I used to be. I used to be strong, powerful, inhuman, immortal. Not anymore. I was more human. Becoming more human as they days went by, even more with John in my life. Well, when he was in my life. I heard his voice. It ripped at my heart. His cries of grief, trying to help me. It was almost unbearable. I wanted to pull John in my arms, tell him I'm not dead. But I couldn't, not until the snipers were gone. The ambulance lifted me up into the stretcher. I heard John cry, calling out my name. I resisted the urge to shed a tear. Just stare blankly. Pretend you're dead. Keep John safe. The ambulance ride was hell.

I watched John walk away from my grave. My heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest and burned. Watching him cry was heartbreaking. I resisted every urge to run up to him and kiss him. The snipers could still be watching. That demon could be watching.

"You made the right choice."

I glanced at the figure beside me. A tall man with a slender pale face, dark brown eyes and light brown hair.

"It doesn't feel like the right decision Gabriel," I said.

"I know it's hard-"

"How the hell do you know it's hard? You've never died in front of the one you love!"

"I'm sorry, you're right. I haven't. But I have felt pain before. I have fallen before."

"But that was a mistake. You were deceived by your fellow kin."

"Everyone makes mistakes Sherlock, even angels."

"I sure did."

"It wasn't your fault Sherlock."

"It was Gabriel, and you know it. I led those innocent souls to slaughter, I deserve to be trapped in this mortal shell for the rest of my days."

"You're different. You're more human."

"I know. Is that bad?"

"I'm not sure. It has been debated for centuries."

"What's your opinion on the subject?"

"A bit of both. It gives you a conscience. Defines who you are."

"I have to agree with you. A bit of both…When can I see him again?"

"When you've taken down the demon sniper."

"All of the snipers. Make sure everyone's safe."

"I could get Mycroft to assist you."

"Please don't. He's a terrible angel."

"He is. You were good though."

"Not good enough."

"Well, as soon as you've completed your mission, you can be with John again."

Completing the mission took three years. Three horribly long years. I checked in on John every chance I got. He was getting by. He didn't talk much. He had returned to the flat. The first night he was there he cried himself to sleep. He did that, cried himself to sleep. He had my coat and scarf. I let him have that. He needed it more than I ever did. He kept everything I owned, even my skull. It was a skull of a fallen soldier, one who had fought to save the innocent that I murdered. I kept his skull as a reminder of my idiocy and selfishness.

I wanted to be with John every day. But I couldn't, I had to complete my mission. Ever since I fell from grace, Gabriel had helped me. He had always helped me before. He was rebellious against the other angels. But he was good at his job. Gabriel had fallen. A young angel had tricked him into doing deals with devils. It was a clever trick. But the angels realised the mistake they had made and brought him back from damnation. Me however, not so lucky.

It was during the Second World War. It was in Germany. I was to lead a large group of innocent souls out of Germany and into Britain. But I was reckless and cocky. The Nazis found us and killed everyone in sight. The angels saw it as murder and betrayal and I made my downfall from grace. Fallen angels aren't immortal, but they don't age. We can die any human way. I wanted to die, but Gabriel wouldn't allow it. He was one of the few angels that was against my falling. He had convinced the Archangels to give me another chance. If I could complete the missions they assigned me to I could get into Purgatory and given another trial. But ever since I had met John, I wasn't sure I wanted another shot. I had begun feeling emotions. Some wonderful, some horrific. My personal favourite was love, and I felt it in heaps for John. Angels and humans cannot love, but fallen angels could. I was over the moon when I learnt he loved me back. But if I was to return to the angels all of that would go away. I would become a mindless soldier again. Gabriel insisted I complete the missions anyway. He said that if I got into Purgatory, I could trial for anything. Returning, dying, protecting, anything. His argument had convinced me.

I had taken out most of the snipers. They were all human, easy to kill. I just needed to take out the demon, Moriarty's right-hand man. Moriarty was one of the most impressive humans I had stumbled upon. He fooled me. The last sniper was difficult to find. He was going by the name of Sebastian Moran. I had heard his name many times before and after my fall from grace. He was a powerful cunning demon. He had deceived some of the best angels. But he hadn't deceived an angel like me. And I was a fallen angel, he would never sense me coming.

After three years of searching I found him in an old abandoned warehouse somewhere in Essex. It was the middle of the day and the sun was out. The warehouse was a ruin in a large field. It looked like it didn't belong. It was eerie and out of place. It broke the serenity of the beautiful field. Inside was just as eerie. The place stunk of demon. I scrunched up my nose as I stepped inside. My bad of weapons slung over my shoulder. I snuck around the building, keeping as quiet as possible. It was silent in the warehouse. A little too silent. I was in the heart of the decaying building when something jumped out and pinned me to the ground.

I was able to spin around onto my back. Fists flew at me. I held them back. I used my legs to quick the attacker off me. I jumped to my feet. The attacker had thrown my bag to his side of the room. I looked at him. He was tall, taller than me, fair haired and his blue eyes burned with bloodlust. The overpowering stench of demon filled my nostrils. Sebastian Moran. I had him.

"You must be a hunter. Dunno how you found me, but I don't care. Just as long as I can slit your throat," he smiled. He lunged at me. I spun around and elbowed him in the back. He stumbled and turned to hiss at me, flashing razor sharp fangs, one of his eyes turning pure white, the other pitch black.

"I'm no hunter Sebastian," I grinned.

"You know of my name? It doesn't matter," Sebastian said, "Look kid, I'm in no mood to fool around a play mind games. I'd just lost a good buddy of mine and I'm a little sensitive. So why don't you just give up and I can kill you. It will save all the hassle of fighting."

"Moriarty was no good man," I said

"How do you know of him? Who are you?" Sebastian spat.

"Your killer," I replied. Sebastian hissed at me. I raced towards my bag as Sebastian lunged at me. He grabbed my leg, pulling me down. I rolled onto my back. I pushed the hissing Sebastian, keeping him away from my throat.

"You're stronger than I thought human," he said between hisses. He snapped his jaws at me.

"Who ever said I was human?" I smiled. I connected with the angel inside of me. With great force I pushed the surprised Sebastian off me and smashed him into the ground, cracking the cement floor underneath. He groaned. He clutched his head. It absorbed most of the impact. As he tried to regain his bearings and turned to my bag and pulled out a large decorate dagger. It had been forged out of angel fire and the feathers from the wings of an Archangel. Gabriel volunteered for forging it. I spun the dagger in my hand and eyed off Sebastian. I charged the dagger straight into his heart. A gasp escaped his lips, along with choking. I twisted the dagger around in his heart. I let go of it and he fell to the ground. Dead. He was dead. I had completed my mission. I could return home.

"You sure you want to do this?" Gabriel asked.

"Of course I do!" I snapped at him.

"Alright, well, I'll see you at the trial then," Gabriel replied. There was the flapping of wings and he was gone. I stared across the street from the alleyway towards 221b Baker Street. Home. I was almost home. I crossed the streets and hesitated at the door. I held my breath as I rang the doorbell. I heard footsteps and locks clicking. The door opened. Mrs Hudson stood in the doorway. She was dumbfounded.

"S-Sherlock? I-Is that…you?" she stammered.

"Yes. Hello Mrs Hudson," I smiled. She wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh my God, you're alive…you're alive…" she sobbed.

"Yes, it is good to be back," I grinned. We let go of our embrace.

"Come in, come in. Just making some tea," Mrs Hudson smiled, closing the door behind us.

"Is John home?" I asked. He was home. I could feel his soul. His soul was so bright and beautiful. Lighters we called them. Rare as can be and priceless. Demons were always looking out for them. Angels were always protecting them.

"Oh yes he's upstairs. Go on, he's missed you," Mrs Hudson grinned. She hugged me again. "I just can't believe you're here, you're alive. You must explain to me how you did it."

"All in good time Mrs Hudson," I smiled and let go of her. Tears of joy were in her eyes. I made my way up the stairs. I knocked on the door of the flat.

"Come in!" yelled a muffled voice. I opened the door and stepped inside. John was sitting in my old chair, reading a newspaper. I watched his expression as he looked up at me. Boredom then to utter shock.

"Hello John," I smiled.

"Holy shit," John said, jumping to his feet. He flew his arms around me and hugged me tight. I squeezed him back. It was amazing to feel him in my arms again. "Holy shit Sherlock. You're real…you're actually real…"

"Yes John. I'm home," I said. We leaned away from our embrace, only to lean back in and kiss. Pure bliss exploded throughout my body. We wrapped our arms around each other. My wounded heart felt healed, like the scars weren't even there. I didn't know how long the kiss went for, but it was beautiful. We leaned away panting, but still had our arms around each other. I leaned my forehead against his.

"I've missed you so much Sherlock," John said. His eyes were watery. "It's been hell without you."

"It's been dull without you," I smiled. John let out a little laugh.

"I can't believe you're alive. You're actually here," he said, moving away from our embrace. I felt a fist to my face. It stung for only a second. My hand went to my abused cheek. John had his fists clenched. He hugged me again, his face snuggling into my chest. "You bastard. You let me here all alone and scared. You were alive. I was so alone…so alone…"

"I'm here now, you're not alone anymore," I soothed, wrapping my arms around him. I kissed the top of his head. My invisible wings wrapped around him, my essence soothing his pain. My shirt was soon stained with his tears.

Lestrade had punched me in the face when he saw me. I was expecting that. He was happy to see me, to say the least. It was difficult being back. I'd been dead for three years, people weren't just going to accept the fact I was back. So I had to use disguises, hiding as much as I could. But I didn't mind too much. I was back with John, and that's all that mattered.

We were going for a stroll in the park. It was pouring down rain so no one was there. We huddled together under the umbrella. John was shivering the cold. I was a bit chilly myself. Angels don't feel the weather, but I was more human than angel. We laughed as we ran over to an undercover area. We sat on the park benches, laughing and trying to catch our breath. It felt good to laugh again. I hadn't laughed like that in three years.

"Hey I'm just going to the loo, be back in a tick," John smiled, kissing me on the cheek. He hurried to the block of toilets next to the undercover area. I sighed when I heard the flapping of wings beside me.

"What do you want Gabriel?" I asked.

"You need to come with me," Gabriel answered.

"I've completed my service," I said.

"I know, and know you have to go to trial," Gabriel replied. I frowned. I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay with John.

"I'm not going. I don't want to return to grace," I said.

"I know, but you need to go. For the sake of John," Gabriel said. I stared at him.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"Come with me. I'll explain it there," Gabriel said, jumping up from the seat. He had his hand out, palm facing upwards. I stared it.

"What about John? Won't he notice my disappearance?" I asked.

"You've forgotten, time doesn't matter in trial. You could spend years there and only be gone for a minute here," Gabriel answered. I frowned as I thought it through. Gabriel smiled as I grabbed his hand. There was the beating of wings and the swishing of wind. The park disappeared and was replaced with a huge grand hallway. It reminded me of the Buckingham Palace. I followed Gabriel down the hallway and into a large courtroom. I hesitated in the doorway.

"Gabriel, why am I here?" I asked.

"They'll explain everything, now come on," Gabriel replied, tugging my coat. I followed him towards a table at the front. We sat down. Angelic eyes burned into the back of my skull. Fallen angels were a disgrace to existence. I used to be like them, proud and arrogant. Falling really opens your eyes and your mind. For better and for worse.

"I need a lawyer Gabriel," I whispered to Gabriel. Three of the Archangels were up in the judge panel. Michael was in the middle, with Uriel and Raphael on the side.

"I am your lawyer," Gabriel smiled. I sighed. This wasn't going to end well."

"Alikair," Michael said, his voice bellowing throughout the room. The room went silent.

"The man doesn't exist anymore. It's Sherlock Holmes," I said.

"Sherlock Holmes, do you know why you've been called to this bench?" Michael asked.

"For a second chance," I answered.

"Gabriel has told me that you don't want a second chance," Michael said.

"Yes that is correct," I replied, "I want to stay with John Watson."

"I'm afraid it's not that simple," Michael frowned, "If you continue being with John Watson, we will have to hunt him and down and kill him."

"What?" I blinked.

"He has been with you for too long," Michael explained, "If you choose to return with us, you will lose everything. If you stay with him, either you or he will die. And I don't think you want to leave him in pain again."

"But, what do I do?" I asked.

"That's your decision," Michael replied.

"Excuse me Michael, could I talk with my client outside," Gabriel asked.

"Yes, you are excuse for five minutes," Michael nodded. Gabriel grabbed my coat sleeve and dragged me back into the hallway.

"Sherlock, you alright? You don't look well," he said.

"I can't be with him. Any decision I make I can't be with him," I said. I was numb. I couldn't think straight.

"As long as he's human," Gabriel said.

"Gabriel, he's going to stay human," I frowned.

"No, I have an idea. Just listen," Gabriel replied. He explained to me his plan. I blinked.

"Could that…work?" I asked.

"It's worth a shot," Gabriel shrugged. We walked back into the courtroom and sat down back in our seats. Michael demanded silence, and he received it.

"Sherlock Holmes, have you come a decision?" he asked.

"Archangel Michael, we propose a wing-brairer," Gabriel answered, standing up. The crowd murmured to each other.

"What?" Michael said; his eyes wider than saucepans.

"Archangel Michael, I must protest against this!" Raphael demanded.

"I agree with Raphael, this is preposterous!" Uriel nodded.

"SILENCE!" Michael boomed. Everyone was quiet. "Sherlock Holmes has a right to state his argument."

"Thank you Michael," I stood up and walked up to the front bench, "Gabriel has informed me of wing-brairering. I know it's not exactly encouraged amongst the angel community, but it's not illegal. And with this choice, no one has to die."

"You don't know that. If the receiver is not strong enough, they could die," Uriel frowned.

"John is strong. He is a Lighter," I said. The room gasped. "It's not illegal, I'm a fallen angel."

"A Lighter you say? He would most likely survive, but there is still a chance of his death, and we cannot risk that," Michael replied.

"Please. He is still a target. Every human is a target. This way he can defend himself," I insisted.

"We will discuss this. Jury, come with me," Michael demanded. They left behind large wooden doors. I sat back in my chair. I sighed and leaned into it.

"Everything's going to be fine Sherlock," Gabriel smiled.

"I hope," I replied, "What if the jury says no?"

"They won't," Gabriel answered.

"But what if they do?"

"They won't. We'll hope that they won't. Pray, even."

The jury went on for hours. It was horrible, just waiting there, deciding mine and John's fate. We waited out in the hallway. My elbows were on my knees, my hands in a prayer position. I had my eyes closed. I was praying. I was praying to any deity that would listen to me. The anxiety was killing me. Hours of waiting. Someone nudged me and I opened my eyes. It was Gabriel.

"Time to go in Sherlock," he said. I nodded and followed him inside. Everyone returned to their seats. My heart was pounding as Michael commanded everyone to be quiet. I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

"Sherlock Holmes, we have come to a verdict," Michael boomed, "Jury!"

A young blonde female angel stood up.

"We have decided…"

My heart felt like it had exploded. I couldn't believe it.

I returned to the park. Nothing had changed. It was like the trial never even happened. I still couldn't believe it. Gabriel sat next to me, looking just as surprised.

"Are you going to go through with it?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"I'll wait here with you. We need to explain this to him," Gabriel replied. I nodded. A minute later John walked out of the toilets. He was surprised to see another man there.

"Ah hey," John waved at Gabriel, "Um, Sherlock, who's your friend?'

"This is Gabriel, and old friend of mine," I replied.

"Oh yeah. Hi, I'm John," John smiled, holding his hand out to shake. Gabriel didn't even look at it.

"John Watson, we need to talk," he said. John's smile faded from his face.

"So, you're angels?" John asked.

"Yes. I'm a fallen angel," I nodded.

"And you went through this trial," John said, "and you want to do this wing-brairer thing?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"What's wing-brairer?" John asked.

"It's when an angel fuses some of their essence with a human soul, turning the human into a half angel," Gabriel explained.

"And that's the only way Sherlock and I can be together?" John asked.

"Yes," I answered. John ran his hand through his hair.

"The fusion is agonising," Gabriel stated.

"Right," John said. I put my hand on his knee. He winced. He put his hand on mine. We stared into each other's eyes. He smiled, making me smile. "Okay, let's do it."

I stared out at the night sky from the window at the flat. Gabriel had left us, attending to other duties. I turned to look at John. He was standing in the middle of the flat, thinking.

"Hasn't sunk in yet hasn't it?" I smiled.

"Yeah," John said with a smirk, "So, ah, how do we do this?"

"Simple," I grinned, walking over to him. I caressed his cheek. He leaned into my hand. I kissed him. He wrapped his arms around me and deepened the kiss. I pressed myself against him. My hand moved from his face and up his shirt, feeling his abdomen. John leaned back.

"Oh, I see. That's why we haven't done it yet," he said.

"Yes. Afterwards though you'll be fine," I said, stroking his hair. John kissed me. I smiled and kissed back. I felt up his abdomen, just a hint of muscle. He was still strong from his army days. Our kiss deepened. We giggled and made our way to the bedroom. It was a glorious night.

I watched his soul entwine with my essence. My angelic force pouring into him. He let out a scream and rolled onto his back. The bones in his upper body moved under the skin. His skin split and feathers tinted with blood appeared. They grew larger and larger. I stepped back and watched.

John yawned and stretched, his newly formed wings expanding across the room. I smiled, stroking his hair. I couldn't believe it, he was even more beautiful. He opened his eyes and smiled at me. They widened.

"Sherlock, you have wings," he said. My large pitch black wings were folded around me.

"So do you," I grinned. He looked at them and gasped. The top was pitch black, and it faded so that the tips of his feathers were pure white. He touched them, air escaping him as he did.

"Oh my God," he clasped his mouth. I chuckled. He stretched his wings, testing them out. They were beautiful. "Oh God, how am I meant to hide these?"

"Mortals can't see or feel them unless we wish them to," I replied.

"Oh okay. Shit," John frowned.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, just…processing," John shook his head.

"How human," I chuckled. John's eyes stared into mine. He smiled.

"Last nice was amazing, well, besides from the wing thing," he said.

"Yes, we must do this more often," I grinned, stroking his face. John chuckled.

"Yes, yes we should," he said and leaned in to kiss me. I chuckled and kissed him back.


End file.
